Reality Bites

• MR. Morticia: I tried making friends with Chompers the Puffer Fish while you were gone tonight but he hates me.
• Me: Well, what did you say to him?
• MR. Morticia: Nothing. I tapped on the glass and he darted to the far side of the tank.
• Me: Duh!! You have to tell him sweet nothings and make kissie fishie lips if you want to make friends with him. Like this -- see how he swims right up to me!!
• MR. Morticia: The only way my mouth will come into contact with that fish is if we're out of tuna and I am forced to use his scrawny butt as a sandwich filler.
• Me: SHUT UP!! He can hear you. No wonder he doesn't like you. Poor little guy. He is going to need some serious therapy with such a brute for a father.
• MR. Morticia: That damn fish isn't the only one in this house who needs therapy!!
• Me: I don't have time to argue. Chompers and I have a play date with Kuluri http://amize.jp/kuluri/index_en.html.