Mama NEVER Said There Would Be Days Like THIS

Monday night, still in the throes of my cooking obsession, I made Chicken and Vegetable Shish Kabobs and Pineapple Upside Down Biscuits. The moment MR. Morticia arrived home and spied what was on the platter, I knew the meal was doomed. During the recipe reading and ensuing preparation stage, I was fully aware that he did not like bell peppers but I was delirious enough to assume that he could simply push the offending peppers off the skewer and not be bothered by them. I was terribly wrong.

• MR: Honey, when I said that we should try some new things, I meant try new ways of cooking what we already like.
• ME: You're joking, right!?! I thought you wanted to try new kinds of food. WOW!! This is the biggest mis-understanding we've ever had. I don't know what to do about it. I mean, I bought parchment paper, learned what a pastry brush is and how to use it ... downloaded recipes into my own newly created online recipe box ... subscribed to the Food Network Channel's weekly newsletter ... I am fully {and unexpectedly} engaged in this whole cooking thing and I don't feel like skidding to a stop before I've even gotten a fair start.
• MR: I just want things to go back to the way they were.
• ME: Nodding without speaking ... {Lord, if you can hear me in spite of all the vile names I am calling my husband under my breath right now, please keep me from mortally wounding him with this dastardly paring knife and remind me why I married him - just one good reason to focus on ... one itsy bitsy teeny thing ... }